Acceptance? Learning that I cannot accept what I do not know...

I don't fully understand what my limitations are yet. It seems to be trial and error and a terribly slow process.
I cannot accept what I do not know.
It seems the first part off this acceptance process is Awareness, then Grief about it... Then moving to acceptance,  then action.
Or maybe action then acceptance. ... Maybe simply there needs to be a Decision in there first. 

Like expecting myself to have acceptance before going through the process of Steps 1-3 is actually putting the cart before the horse?

 

So Step 1 would be identifying many (all I know of currently) that are limitations. .. the WHAT that I am powerless over.
THEN moving to Step 2 of asking God to restore me to sanity by helping me Accept what I cannot change... Like the Serenity Prayer.

 
An THEN onto Step 3 - making a Decision to do different-to then hand what I identified in Step 1 over to His care,  telling Him I'm committed to trying my hardest to Accept & Trust. Even... asking for Him to help me to accept and trust when I'm unable, or am struggling so much with it on my own ...and **Asking see to see myself through His eyes** 

Seeng myself through His eyes means allowing myself not to do it perfectly. Progress not Perfection...
What is good enough?
What is enough?
What is realistic?
EVERYONE HAS ILLNESS,  DISEASE, OR LIMITATIONS.  EVERYONE.
Everyone has "been dying since the day they were born". (Song?)

My recovery had given me this awareness - that it is Not " Why me?", but rather "Why NOT me?"

I wasn't born holier than thou,  immune to humanity,  or disease, but rather one of many . One of many, trudging the road to happy destiny. One of many just trying to make a life worth living,  to Connect, to embody Life even when it seems to be such a small light compared to all the other candles. ..but when I compare,  I forget that all it takes is 1 small light at the end of a rope to start a large flame of Hope, warmth, comfort. ..

When I compare my insides to your outsides, I fall short. (As agencies bank on this!) When I compare my Here & Now to my past where I was then, I see tremendous profound growth and resiliency, and amazing determination in spite of so much adversity.

What adversity?

Learning challenges, eczema, dairy allergy, killing of my grandmother when I was 7, Mother's resulting struggles after suddenly losing Grandma, her younger brother and father in prior years, numerous car accidents, suicide of my father in law, close family member facing federal prison but dismissal for innocence at last minute, Serving out country during 9/11, multiple spinal fractures/arm fractures/shattered wrist, multiple drug injuries from Birth control, Amantadine (TIA stroke at 28), Adderall drug study (hallucinations, 25#weight loss, tardive dyskenesia), substance abuse to self medicate, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, vaccine induced hypothyroidism, adrenal exhaustion, anxiety and panic ...
..attacks,PTSD...
...Being suicidal until begging God at my dark night of soul begging for health restoration ...promising Him that if He spared me, I would share my healing journey witht the world....
Not long after, started my upward climb thru the tunnels between the roots of Functional Medicine following the work of Dr.Ben Lynch, Trudy Scott, Dr. Keesha Ewers, Dr. Susan Blum, the author of Stop the Thyroid Madness, my friend and mentors Dr. Charles Parker DO (CorePsych) & Dr.Don Sprague (Environmental Medicine & hyperbaric doc), Dr.
& Dr.Robin Hayes with Harvard, Lara Adler, Andrea Nakeyama, Dr. Terry Wahls, and those supporting my 15 years of long term Recovery by walking this journey alongside with me:
Drs.Steven Loyd, Paul Thomas & Mrs Thomas, RN...
Ive left so many out and will add to this soon... So now I am giving back slowly but surely but that's where my passion comes from. From my GRATITUDE from having my health and life restored... And my desire to share that your journey CAN be shorter.

This process doesn't make acceptance easier,  but atleast gives me direction.